Im ready to sign these papers...

Sara and I officially divorced today. My companion moved out of my office and out of my life. I will never be the same without her. All thats left is the "dietary cart"

shit.

happy birthday chech

You've done it.
You have reached 32 successfully.

Its been amazing watching all of your accomplishments in life; being a soccer star, chasing canadians through kohls, and now being the proud owner of a horse named chase who speaks 2 languages. It was just yesterday that you were paying me $1 to not cry after you beat me up, or pushed me around the house in a laundry basket. I have always looked up to you, you're one of my best friends. You deserve all the happiness in life, along with a guys trip to vegas.

Much Love,

Moli

nose candy epidemic

First Paris Hilton thinking it was gum in her purse while rolling on dubs on Las Vegas Blvd.

Then lindsay blohan fails a drug test.. for cocaine.

Now Bruno Mars gets caught in the bathroom of Hard Rock (in vegas) with a giant baggie of coke, stating hes "never done drugs before"

why do fame and cocaine go hand in hand? Is it the glam drug? Because im pretty sure if these people would watch Intervention they may think twice about their choices in life.

I dont want to end up addicted to drugs with 30 cats

a couple things I learned this weekend

1- the older you get, the longer your hangover stays. and no, you cant dance like you did when you were 21. dont try it.

2- you wont feel as much pain when repiercing your nose if you chug a giant glass of malbec beforehand

3- Its completely appropriate to name a pakistani man "Enrique" when hes trying to D in the A. just sayin.

you know you're a drunk when...

I caught drunk lady in the breakroom talking to herself about her lunch.. she was dumping her spaghettios into a too small bowl. Then i heard her say "god dammit they forgot the meatballs in here. mustve missed my can" I look at the can- "spaghettios original"

hmm...

Song of the day

Teeth- Lady Gaga

amazing beat. and its hot!

sara has a bastard child

America's got talent runner up Jackie Jinglejeimer shmitz = Princess P's bastard child that was conceived under the bleachers @ kennedy. Look at the resemblance.

karma

this is what I get for being so "mean."

I was so excited to try the turkey wrap. with guac and tomato... Told nicole that if I didnt like it, it would be returned.

Took a bite, and found a giant hair. Dissected it, and found it was super long. Take a bite of the other side, and guess what? giant hair.

Karma my friends.

Song of the Day

Like a G6- Far east movement

makes me want to dance!

what is a mistake?

1. An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness.
2. A misconception or misunderstanding.

I hate the word mistake. I prefer to use the term "life lesson". Without mistakes, where would we learn to do the right thing? I'd like to think im not an impulsive person; that I thoroughly think things through before I make a decision. Well turns out, mistakes do occur. And sometimes they are hard to prevent. But the things i learn from mistakes make me the person i am today. So bring it on, life lessons. Im your pupil.

omg so major/so bananas/i die/so beyond

I have to laugh when I watch the Rachel Zoe project on Bravo. shes so brilliant with styling, clothes, making trends. but my god, her voice and how she anunciates shit is hilarious. she talks something like "oh.my.god just saw gucci/pucci/armaniiiiiiiiii and it. was. so...major... and. bananas."

Why.do.you.need.a.period. after every word?

orgasm in the mouth

When you mix the most perfect cup of coffee... I literally just moaned out loud.
Today will be a good day.

Did you feed?

Ok this how a typical day goes here in paradise. The token drunk lady often refers to sorting the faxes on the fax machine as "feeding off"? Now WTF, who feeds faxes??  So as I type this she asks me if "I fed for her".  "No Blazle I didn't feed for you".  What next....

I'm a gleek!

OMG I can't wait until the season preimere of Glee. I never thought I would admit to watching this but I'm hooked.

Dear Katy Perry, I love you.

“I’ve always been outspoken and I’m not easily influenced. My views are unsolicited, unfiltered and that’s why people never know what they’re going to get – there’s some spice because it’s spontaneous.” -Katy Perry

food for thought

"I don't know, thats why I'm asking you."

"Well I was doing it and it was doing it"

wilson st stupidity heard round the world, and at my place of employment.

We're back!!

Miss us much? After being pissed @ Google ads that stole our money we are back to write about random shit and useless info. If you don't like it, I'm over it.