Quite possibly the best Glee Episode Ever

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xie9hz_glee-born-this-way_fun

I cant handle anymore royal wedding crap

All I can think about when I hear about the royal wedding nonsense is
cloudy skies and bad food.
Thats the UK in a nutshell. Theres really nothing else to know.


Can we focus on real issues? Instead of crazy bitches polishing their knock
off tiaras and sitting in their houses on friday drinking tea at noon? People
are nuts. Theres no such thing as kings and queens here people, theres just
Obama and Walker. Theres just rising gas prices here and a bad economy. Or how
about the crashing real estate market and the giant potholes that resurfaced
after the snow melts?

Or how about the fact that Sara and I are moving into a place on Sunday
that we've never seen? And now that I see the blueprint, I apparently have no
windows?

Currently...

I wish I had a part time job at Dairy Queen. Im the soft serve goddess.
I'm moving in 48 hours and I havent packed my closet(s) full of stilettos and clothes. I'm a trashbag mover, it hasn't failed me yet.
No one is writing me love notes on my Spongebob sticky pad, and I'm pissed.
Can someone buy Sara and I an Edible Arrangement as a housewarming gift? Please?!?
I can't find where I put all of my acrylic paints... So I have all these thumbnails of paintings I want to do, but no paint.
Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.
AND... I'm about due for a facebook detox. Deactivating in 3,2,1...
I have so many things I want to learn and do, but no time. I wish I had a time turner necklace like Hermione.

what is Chasers thinking?

a) give me my ball
b) no hablo ingles asshole
c) I miss my badge, please go fetch it out of the snowdrift
d) ___________________ ::insert the blank::

pretty sure you shouldn't piss on electrical boxes...

i love my friends.

Special Needs easter candy

Detroit Easter Candy

Poor Baby Binks has been through the ringer. I love this shit. One eyed Willy, then smushyface.

the moral in this office is so high...

one of our assistants just called a fellow scheduler a "moron bitch" .


Wow. The things I hear sitting in my cube. I just keep on typing away.

Beautiful Lyrics

David Gray - Please Forgive Me Live by bakuna

As I find myself limping around the office

looking like a fool...im wondering if anyone has an adult sized baby bjorn that they can put me in ? and carry me around like a sack of potatoes ... damn you broken ankle. (no its not REALLLLY broken im just whining) I have a feeling this pain is nothing a glass of wine can't fix.

desperately seeking

Summer. In particular, strawberry patch season. I want to be in a strawberry patch right now, fending off gigantor spiders and meat eating bumblebees to pick the best batch of strawberries. Then proceeding to make a strawberry shake. Homemade, none of this Culver's bullshit. btw- my dad makes the best shakes ever. His current specialty is mango/blueberry. But I miss his chocolate banana ones.

Paul McDonald: Maggie May

Paul McDonald: Maggie May


So very sad to see my favorite Paul leave. His smile could light up a room. Im boycotting American Idol from now on. Dont know why they keep stupid Scottie

I cant get enough

Rihanna & Britney Spears - S&M (Remix) - Full New Single 2011 Vidéo MrMusic sélectionnée dans Musique

What are your thoughts on the Rihanna/Britney S&M Remix? As a diehard britney fan, I have this on repeat in my car. Although she does suck at singing....

Its Fridayyyy Fridayyyyyyy

who's ready for some fun fun fun fun?
This weekend will consist of my 1st ever fish fry (so excited!) And a glass of cabernet. Saturday will be a hot mess like always. Sunday is recovery day.

Fun game to play

opening your text inbox the morning after a school night bender... then you read texts containing things you probably shouldn't have said. and how did I remember that person's number? theres a reason I deleted him in the first place. When I'm sober im not desperate, im content and dont need anyone. But boy get some vodka in me, and I won't leave my phone alone!

Can they invent a breathalyzer device on smartphones? Its a necessity for me. I decided.

What a booze filled weekend

Friday: Cougar town USA in Oconomowoc. We went to some supperclub on the lake to see the 5 card studs perform... lead singer was this hot beanpole who closely resembled Chris Martin from Coldplay. I was in love. The other entertainment was the late 20 something girl with bleach blonde trashy hair, fake boobs, fake nose, and fishlips sitting on her sugardaddys lap. Ive never seen someone so blinged out in my life. And her dance moves were ridiculous. After a couple glasses of wine and some vodka redbulls I "somehow" fell off a barstool and bruised my knees, and broke a chair. Then the beer volcano happened and there was frozen booze all over the place. Saturday: Did karaoke(horribly) and danced my ass off w a hot firefighter. then ended up at taco bell screaming thru the drive thru window about the Far East Movement. Sunday:um what the hell. I found a new favorite shot. Pinnacle kiwi strawberry vodka chilled. its delicious. My stomach muscles still hurt from laughing for 8 hours straight. who wouldve thought that such a crappy morning would turn out to be a great afternoon. Its all about the company you keep. I was also given a stripper name: Darkness. where it came from... no one knows.

5 card studs

tonight @ burke's lakeside in Oconomowoc! (the city with the most O's in the world) be there or be square, whores!

Take a good look in the mirror

The word narcissism came from Narcissus, who based on a greek myth was so in love with himself it was all he cared about. He was self centered, evil, although beautiful in his own cocky way. The story ends with narcissus killing himself after he sees himself in the water, and realizes that he cant be with himself, the man he loves most.

So tell me, does anyone know any narcissistic assholes out there who deserve to be called out for only living and thinking for themselves?

Words of Wisdom

"Be kind – for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle"

I like this saying alot because no matter how insignificant or unimportant you think someones issues are or don't care, everyone is dealing with something in their own way.

James and the Giant Peach.

I loved that book, and I might have even loved the movie. Doodle's shirt today reminds me of that. Oh childhood memories.

Best Meal Ever....

So I finally treated myself to the best meal ever to be had. McDonald's #2 - 2 Cheeseburger meal. It goes something like this, # 2 (no cheese, and no pickles bc they have nasty pickles), fries and diet coke = heaven. The best part about it was, I didn't feel a ounce a guilt bc I deserve it god dammit. Yeah, I said the GD word Jesus freak if your reading this.

Did you know.

A shipping container filled with rubber duckies was lost at sea in 1992, and the bath toys are still washing ashore today. It's pretty amazing where these ducks have ended up. It was enroute from Hong Kong to the US and the crates fell overboard. Here is a map to where they have traveled.

I secretly want to see this....

Hey, it has Carrie Underpants in it.

Government Shutdown??

Please enlighten me what the hell this means? No mail, Obama taking a day off to fly to Hawaii, Capital Hill going to a Red Sox game? How can the “government” just shutdown? I don’t get it. So I guess they are not going to pay anyone, including the soldiers fighting overseas? So what are they supposed to do, just tell the insurgents to hold off on shooting until they get the go ahead to get back to work? I’m already living in a world of corrupt State Government; don’t let me down federal government or I’m moving to O’ Canada.

Thoughts...

So as the clock hit midnight this year, I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined what 2011 had in store for us. I would have called bull shit button if someone would have told me. Then I come to find out in the Chinese New Year Calendar, it’s the year of the Rabbit. Mother Fucker. So really bring it on, bc this is making our skin tougher than you can imagine. I will leave you with this quote that is getting me thru.

"Prepare for the worst, hope for the best"

Happy Friday

thursday

I'm having a hard time today. Wondering how people can be so vain and disrespectful. People you thought to be your friends turn on you and decide you aren't the right fit. instances like these solidify my reasoning for why I am such a guarded soul. Because the minute I become vulnerable, someone comes along and uses me. For now, im done with the bullshit. I will continue as I did months ago, without this person in my life and everything will be ok. Im thinking im doomed. and all i got out of this friendship was bruises on my knees and an empty gas tank.

but i miss your rants already.

just read it

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. - Buddha.

we're supposed to be moving in.. in 3 weeks? HURRY UP

the eminem tour

Paul took me on the Eminem tour this weekend--- first to Em's grandma's house on Shady Lane where he grew up (why he named himself slim shady), then to Gilbert's Lounge, which he raps about in his songs, the nasty diner that he used to work at before he made it big. Seeing all of this and visiting the 7-11 on Shady Lane made me want to spit some rhymes yo. After our Eminem tour I got to see some of the most horrific sights in my life- we drove through Detroit. Every corner consisted of a chicken and fish shack, check cashing/loans, lottery and liquor stores, and then weave salons. Drunk bums just walk in the middle of the road, (not at crosswalks) and I basically prayed for my life everytime we hit a red light. I'm so blessed to be raised in a normal household, away from poverty and scum like this city has to offer. It was more heartbreaking than anything. I did appreciate the porcelin toilet under the overpass, and the mattresses scattered along the sides of the road. Oh dirty Deeeetroit.

just bc she rocks

and whips my other dog around by her tail and her collar. Keila you're a badass bitch.

It's NOT real

http://www.petitelapgiraffe.com/

I was convinced until I read the instructions on how to keep a petite lap giraffe... "give bubbles baths weekly in filtered water."

this is a hoax. yet I can't help watching the live feed of Vladamir doing the same things over and over. I'm hoping they come up with new barn scenes to keep me hopeful. Because a mini giraffe would be a perfect addition to the shore house.

Why does this consume our day?

Pearl is not amused

That she is the Easter Bunny this year.