No no no no no

The yellow caution sign should say: Caution-douchelord ahead/nice aeropostale shorts.

ITS HERE!

http://www.mtv.com/videos/?id=1518071 Sorry embedding isn't working... but I do LOVEEEE this video. ♥

My sober happy hour

Was weird. I felt like I was missing something. Maybe it was the lack of hops and barley. In any event, it didnt prevent me from harassing the server, who was higher than snoop dogg and explaining to him how triplets are concieved.

me:"I would like a coke please. I'm not drinking im pregnant." greg:"youre pregnant?" me:"yes, with triplets. I had sex three times in a row, now I'm having triplets." greg:"I swear it has something to do with how the chromosomes split not how-" me:"no, whoever told you that was lying. Did you attend Health class even?" greg:"yeah I did, but it was public school system. so that makes sense."

So they say there's radiation in the milk in CA and WA

According to CNN, there has been trace/miniscule amounts of radiation found in milk in California and Washington. Im so happy to live smack dab in the middle of this beautiful country. For the main reason that I dont want to grow another leg out of my forehead, or grow tentacles... purple ones.

Tranny?

"I think Wendy Williams used to be Wendel Willams" -JTL watching dancing with the stars

Overheard at Walgreens- Teen Mom 2.0

2 teenage girl employees were working at the Walgreens. I stopped after my workout to stock up on jellybeans for my co-workers. (they didnt have the bumpy nerd jellybeans, so I had to get lemonhead and hawaiian punch jellybeans. epic fail.) ANYWAY, I was disgusted when I heard them talking about babies. Girl 1: I make $600 a month here, that will cover diapers and formula. He told me he loved me and wanted to have my baby. I really want a baby. Girl 2: umm I dont think $600 a month is enough, what about rent and food and stuff? Girl 1: thats what foodstamps are for ill just get those. I really want a kid. Girl 2: Yeah I really dont think thats a good idea, you aren't ready to be a mom... GIRL 1! LISTEN UP BITCH! // The taxes out of my paycheck go to things such as badgercare, foodstamps, wic checks etc. they are not for people like you, who are relying on them, and have the choice as to have a baby or not. DO NOT ABUSE THE SYSTEM! I almost went up and slapped this young girl and walked away. This is the future of America- and Im really scared. Reason #134566 to not have a baby: I dont want it to make stupidass decisions that will leave me shaking my head. Can everyone go to the Walgreens in McFarland and talk some sense into future babymomma?

Thoughts as of today

I miss shark week. My dog is still wearing her Halloween collar, I really need to get her a new one. But i guess Halloween is only 6 months away... As far as dancing with the stars goes this season, are any of them really stars? its pretty sad I only know who half of these people are. im really thinking that women should always stay waxed, and have nails and toes done. Its the least you can do, you're a woman for a reason; embrace it. ALSO, please get an appropriate bra, wear your size! Get fitted! It's so important. you dont want them to look like a rock in a sock. Just when you write off relationships and promise yourself you'll be single forever to prevent getting hurt...someone comes around and its so unexpected, yet beautiful. I always said I like a challenge, boy do I have one. By the way if you read this, thank you for making me smile constantly and giving me the butterflies that I've been missing for years. "On Wednesdays we wear pink!" im boycotting doing homework for Monday's nights class anymore because a)she wouldnt know if i did it or didnt, and b)im still pissed she ditched me tonight. I desperately need for May to come.