My friends and I were classy today and went to red lobster for dinner. I had my 4 dollars off dinner coupon, so we went "balls to the walls" aka I had regular soda. Sara claimed that if you ask the server to crack your crab legs for you, they CAN'T say no. God that sounds like such a threat doesn't it? So we get this sweet little cokehead with the sparkly headband, sure enough sara requests the extra services=crab leg cracking. She nods ok. at this point I was a 5 on a 1-10 embarrassment scale. 5 buckets of cheddar bay biscuits later, because they're crack, and our food comes. Sparkly headband brings our seafood fest bake thingy and says that someone will be over shortly to help crack. Note embarrassment level rising. Enter rode hard put away wet, who is most likely sparkles coke dealer. She brings out a tray, plops it next to our table, and whips out rubber gloves. She snapped them on with such gusto you would think she was performing a prostate exam. Nope,she was going to crack each and every crab leg in the pot and extract every scrap of crab meat. Crab shell flying, meat flying, she was there for like 5 minutes, listening to our convo as I try to not snort the soda out of my nose because im laughing so hard. Sara had no clue what services she had requested. But the outcome worked in her favor; she got to eat her feast with a fork, while Hamel and I were schmucks with our slimy crabby hands. Sara-1 Red Lobster-0.
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