oops

Ok, so it was really super windy yesterday. I was in a hurry, had my hands full, and swung open the door at my apt. Well .... the wind took the door and slammed it against the railing, causing the wood to break off this mystery piece... leaving it to hang and swing, possibly poke peoples eyes out. I looked around, saw no one, and scurried up the stairs... this is what I came home to after beer #...? looks like someone took care of it for me. WHAT NEXT?

The door now swings all over the place, and doesnt shut on its own... it was wide open this morning when i left for work. imagine all the critters running around the foyer. yuck.

daydreaming this morning

on my drive into work today, I saw a gorgeous Pakistani man riding his bike to class with a backpack on...

the mystery man on the bike turned into Aladdin with a turban on, flying his magic carpet down the bike lane on university.. he had jewels, pearls, and diamonds that he was throwing at all the peasants (other uw students) as he floated on by... then i hop on the carpet, being jasmine..and he floats me all the way to the hospital while we sing a whole new world.


ummm.... have another.

sketch of man whos bustin caps in people's azzzes

all this occuring in hamels backyard... hmm looks like jtown. or maybe doodle? Or john jacob jingle heimer shmitz.???

my point is, this looks like every human being on earth. so much for a photographic memory, eh?

whos craving a salty spicy drink?

Then have a bloody mary @ the Silver Eagle! As you all know I spend my free time and cash every saturday and/or sunday morning at the eagle on their bloody mary bar.

Complete with Ketel One Vodka (theyre generous on the vodka)... you make your own mix, or use the silver eagle special mix provided. Then , go to town with your veggies/meats/cheeses:

Mushrooms

pickled asparagus

pickled green bean

garlic cloves

baby corn

olives

cheddar cheese cubes

swiss cheese cubes

pepperjack cheese cubes

beef sticks

pepperoni

shrimp

celery sticks

lemon/lime wedges

horseradish

pickled brusselsprouts

pickles

On Saturday, they will run you $6 (includes a yummy shot of miller lite) but on Sundays, theyre only $5! Sue, Calli, and Lauren will take good care of you! I also want to let you all know about their new hours ... Opening at 11am Saturdays, and 8am on Sundays!!! Whos ready for a bloody before church on sunday? me me me!

Oh, Arizona... you idiots.

I just need to put in my 2 cents about the new Immigration law in Arizona.

I understand that illegal immigration is a huge problem in the south. It has been for a while, and probably always will be.
After marrying Dan and dealing with getting a visa legally, I now see why so many people do it the easy way, the illegal way. Its cheaper (free) and doesnt come with the confusing paperwork that is even hard for English speaking people to fill out.

OK, So the immigration law in Arizona now goes like this: If you get pulled over, or into trouble with the police for any reason, you will need to show your green card/papers to show you are legal. This wasn't the case before. As it makes sense that you should show papers if you get into trouble, I'm just concerned that racial profiling will get even worse than it is now.

The cops can pull you over for anything. Do you know how many Hispanics will be pulled over now for seat belts not being on? maybe a bulb being burnt out? or they may just pull them over, for the hell of it. This is going to tie up the police with more piddly stuff when they could be out dealing with more serious crimes.

If the Latino population in AZ now has to carry their green cards everywhere they go, then so should everyone else. A black man could be an immigrant of Nigeria... My mom, who has German blood, could easily be a German Immigrant... America is a melting pot. And to single out one skin color for being illegal immigrants is asinine.

The only people who should be free to roam without birth certificates/green cards are Native Americans. Because this has been their land for so many years.

Simon and Garfunkel concert postponed!???

Man up, Art!

the Simon and Garfunkel concert which was previously scheduled for May 9 has been rescheduled due to Art having a "throat problem"

hey oldballs! we want to hear "Cecilia" now! dammit!

It has been rescheduled for July 14th.

I will wait patiently... hello darkness my old friend...

Hi [insert the blank]

I can't tell you how many physicians, surgeons, providers etc that I come in contact with on a daily basis. They ride in on their high horse, dictate the whole clinic as if they are hitler reborn, and then ride out ...without a hello, how are you.

out of the 10 doctors I come in contact with, 3 know my name. 1 asks me how I'm doing. Those are some pretty shitty numbers.

To the doctors: I know you worked your ass off to get where you are now. You went to school for a bajillion years. You've seen and put up with crazy patients, just like I have. But you will be even that much more appreciated if you would say hi to me in the hallway... if you cared about us office monkeys. Maybe even learned our names! because we would do anything for you. Well, we don't have a choice.

you cant fix stupid

Taken from a lovely forwarded email:


I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding. Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed
I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

...You can't fix stupid.

my life without facebook...and now, no internet?

I never thought the day would come that I would be turning more and more into my hippie brother, Tony. But sadly, its happening.

So we all know I got rid of Facebook. best thing that ever happened to me. But now im faced with my newest challenge: No internet at all, after 430pm. (work hours)

This wasn't by choice. My stupidass neighbor wised up and got a password for their wireless internet.. So that has left me trying to hack in to the other 10 networks, such as "your mom is a slut", "Land of the Lorax", and "monkeyballs".

I try the word "cat" or "cats" for everyone's password, as they're all creepy cat lovers. Because you know 1 is never enough!!! gross!

Now I have PLENTY of time to watch old stuff on Ondemand, mostly Intervention and Dog the Bounty Hunter...

But once im done watching that, the boredom will kick in. Gee, maybe I need a hobby. I think I'll start painting again, or *gasp* maybe cave and get a gym membership? Stay tuned

the latest love of my life

because every girl needs a pair of nude pumps... I just got my first pair. and they make my heart melt everytime i put them on

the water is fixed

no more cold showers for me- for now. Who knows what will break next ....

Full Moon begins with a bang. a cold bang.

I feel like I should go home and crawl back into bed, because this day is gonna be a real bear.

I woke up bright and early this morning to shower and actually blowdry and style my hair...
still with my eyes shut i make it to the shower, turn on the water to get it at my scalding hot temperature i need that early in the AM. No hot water...
turn the dial further to the right... cold
further.... nothing

no flipping hot water?!?! you have got to be kidding me. So i turned the dial as far to the right as it would go, and it was just slightly lukewarm. SHIT. I jumped in, and was as far away from the water as possible, hugging the edge of the shower, so the water just barely hits me. Got my hair just wet enough to wash my hair, and screamed because it was so cold. Used 4 towels when i got out because i had borderline hypothermia.

I tried my sink afterwards , and sure enough , no hot water to wash my hands either.

I cant get warm. That was the worst morning ever...

public service announcement for the day.

vultures= people who read your emails and texts over your shoulder

HEY VULTURES! knock it off. If I wanted you to read my emails, I'd CC you for fucks sake. Don't worry, I'm not talking about you in the e-mail. And if I was, I'll tell you a cliff notes version to your face.

This is why I now have a privacy screen on my phone...

but nothing trumps the reading over the shoulder bit more than "Who was that?" Right after youve gotten off the phone. Do I need to announce who i spoke to, and what was said, verbatum? Nope. I don't.

I consider myself a private person in some aspects, others not at all. But in the event I do a get a good old stone aged phone call, dont ask. please spare me.

The Salad Bar experience from hell

I got behind two tortoises today in the salad bar line. Each were total granolas, with Tom's Shoes and all. Of course, both were making granddaddy salads, complete with spinach AND romaine...

granola 1 and granola 2 both spent about 3 minutes chatting and inspecting EVERY leaf of lettuce that went into their salad container. i swear they whipped out litmus paper and were testing each ones ph's. Thats how long it took. each had a lettuce tong in hand, holding the lettuce up to the light, deciding whether it made the cut to go into their flax seed filled bellies.

they bolted past the mystery meats and cheeses (typical.) and then halted when they got to the tofu chunks. then 3 more minutes past. I was tapping my feet, sighing loudly... you know all those "hurry the fuck up" non verbal cues. But to no avail, the sloths kept slothin'.

you shouldve seen how many garbanzo beans and sunflower seeds were piled atop that tofu loaded hot mess.

they need to get out of the salad bar express line and go get lip waxes. End of story.

I cant stop talking about LC's kohls line...

not just because im in love with her... the Lauren Conrad clothing line for Kohl's is sooo cute, and reasonably priced. (although her stuff is pricy for kohls, as $$$ as the Simply Vera Wang collection)

Shes got adorable skirts, glitter blazers, and one shoulder shirt-dresses that are pretty awesome. They are in the "younger" women's section by Daisy Fuentes and Apt. 9. Go now! buy some cute stuff!!!!!

or in my case, take your mother who has the Kohl's charge burning in her pocket!

TV review: America: The Story of Us

Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I suck when it comes to American history. I had one semester of it in high school, and didnt pay attention, whatsoever. But the history of our great country intrigues me, and I am usually asking my mom questions about the Liberty Bell, the Civil War, and those god damn red coats.

The History Channel has started a new 8 part series called "America: the story of us" The first episode premiered Sunday night...with 2 hours packed with information, starting with the pilgrims, pocahantas, and the beginning-end of the Revolutionary War.

I was dead tired Sunday night, as it was post- trauma with the brewer game. But I was so glued to the TV, I couldnt stop watching. The first episode, "rebels" will repeat tomorrow night. I urge everyone to watch it. It was so entertaining, and I learned more in those 2 hours than I have in a long time. The show made me proud to be an american...and hate the british a little (dont tell dan)

http://www.history.com/shows/america-the-story-of-us

Sunday night's episode will follow the settlers, as they trek across America to the Wild West. Settlers= Oregon Trail ...with the green screen on the Mac computers for all of my readers who were born in the 80's.

chocolate duckies

heavy drinking, karaoke, and headbands amount to this.

Tuesday- Favorite night of the week

I get stressed, anxious and excited when I think about the fact that I have to squeeze in 5 hours of QUALITY tv into a 2 hour slot.

Dancing with the Stars vote off
American Idol
Deadliest Catch (in HD, duh)
Love Games (bad girls club spin-off)
and my favorite, parenthood. Is Jabbar not the cutest thing in the whole freakin world?

Wish me luck... as I can DVR two things at once, but that still leaves me with 3 other shows to flip through. My palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it.

I do not recommend

An X-rated bomb... (Xrated liquor and redbull) tastes like the stuff you got as a kid when you had an ear infection. nasty.

All I got out of it was a stupid brewers hat...

On Sunday, Sara Hamel and I embarked on the hardest day of our lives... well it felt like it. We volunteered our day to the National Kidney Foundation and ran a concessions booth with 7 other people from our Transplant Dept. With 3 hours of previous class training, we were all fish out of water. we had one stand manager who was too busy playing with her clipboard and texting people to care that we had all run out of quarters, miller lite, and our sanity. No bathroom breaks, food or drink was banned, certainly no tom foolery.

I felt like I was on that ship Amistad.

I did my time... stood there from 10am - 6pm. my drawer made $1400 ... while hamel was flashing her smileeeeee to the drunk dudes and made $1800. Dammit!

Sara was busy slangin' pizza in back and wrapping weeeeeenies.

All I left with was a stupid hat, and a rank smell of deep fryer. It went to a good cause, and I'm glad I did it. But theres gotta be an easier way to make money.

ps- tell me how my tip cup only had 8.50 in it? ohhh yeah hamel dropped my tips into the mop bucket. bitch!

LOL- who wrote this shit?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36723890/ns/us_news-wonderful_world/?GT1=43001

"tattooed 29 year old man"

"toothless man"

"has 3 children with two different women"


LOLLLLLzzz. I am so glad this guy won powerball. He needs it, deserves. hes just a hard working guy, who can now afford front teeth. I love it. But the individual who wrote this did a great job of making him appear to be a giant hee-haw. Oh well. such is life.

Im just glad some old balls didnt win, which always happens. You cant take your money to heaven, thats for sure.

Happy St George's day!

Turn up the volume to hear some Englishman drunkily chanting nonsense....

update on my facebook-less life

Well .. its been 11 days since I've deleted Facebook. And it feels great.
Its nice to get emails and texts from people wanting to say hi, instead of simply a comment on my wall.
I no longer have access to peoples weekend shenanigans, which is sad. But do people really ever change? I could log on a year later and see the same shit going on at the eagle on a thursday night.
FB is a waste of time. People get so caught up and consumed in what everyone else is doing, what theyre eating, who theyre dating. Why not take some time to concentrate on yourself? Quit stalking people online and find something else to do.

I hear about peoples status updates "did you see what so and so posted last night on fb?" And I kinda want to say "is this worth my brain cells? or maybe I dont want to hear it"

Wait, i already said that this morning to hamel while she was reciting someones latest comment. Exactly my point.

reason #13774 not to call 911

my brother and I g-chatted last night while he was on duty..working hard obviously.

C: "someone just called 911 for a panic attack... christ what a waste of resources"
me: "a panic attack= you're stressed out and you dont have the balls to deal with your problems on your own"
C "= get a clue
= grow up
either of those."

PEOPLE! Don't call 911 for a "panic attack"! Seriously... thats like calling 911 because you aren't quite sure of the directions on the side of a macaroni and cheese box.

Happy Administrative Asst. week!

Screw real flowers... this is the REAL way to a woman's heart.

Ash clears, Airlines FINALLY re-open in Europe

Well, looks like the Bunkadunkalunka-ramalama ding dong volcano from Iceland has finally run its course. After nearly a week of no flights coming in or out of Europe, the "flight gods" have ok'd people to fly again. The volcano, named Eyjafjallajokull , has been spewing ash filled with shards of glass and nasty shit. Worse than when captain Sully ran into a flock of Canadian geese and landed in the hudson (awesome documentary by the way, on TLC. i recommend it)

this whole volcano fiasco has cost the airlines 1.7 billion dollars in revenue. Ouch.
Looks like they will start charging for using the loo's, and carry ons.

Im wondering if they have their head honchos sitting around a long desk , preparing for the "what ifs" if this happens again. wheres FEMA when we need them?

to all you brits, you can stop wearing your surgical masks now.

happy 420.... which one do you celebrate? I celebrate neither...

420, 4:20 or 4/20 (pronounced four-twenty) refers to consumption of cannabis and, by extension, a way to identify oneself with cannabis subculture.[1][2]
The term originated from a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California, United States in 1971.[3][4] The teens would meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke marijuana at the Louis Pasteur statue. (taken from Wikipedia.com)

Feliz Cumpleanos you crazy B!

spotted @ UW bookstore. Poor Stan!

Stan,

Where are your hands? Did you get in a motorcycle accident? Maybe one of those turkey vs bike accidents? How do you eat dinner? How do you drive? Do you paint with your toes like those people I see on the Discovery Channel?

Stan, stan the man

You poor thing without any hands

I hope you move to no-hand land

Because now you can't be a one man band...

with no hands.

a close look into a pikey pub (white trash bar)

Its funny to see the differences between here and London... imagine your favorite white trash bar: the one that reeks of smoke, has great drink specials, and is great for people watching. Would you imagine it to look like this?

It looks like a living room inside! but thats so typical over there

even the loo's are scary!

Pikey!!!!! Oh how I miss London. its Tom Foolery, left and right everywhere you look.

Look who used to live @ my apartment!

yes, the real Pink Floyd shops at Kohls. And they got $10 kohl's cash. You dont think they need it do they? because im going to use it!

Seriously... Pink Floyd? LOL the things the postman must see...

Some people's children

spotted @ Nordstrom's:

Classy lady with size 0 capris and the new spring coach bag, which is bright pink sequins (to die for) coach sunglasses, wearing them inside the store, because apparently thats cool.

Shes @ the Michael Kors rack minding her own beez... with her 10 yr old daughter in tow. now her iphone is blowing up,and shes talking while shopping, while on her other phone, checking her email. Total Chicago lady. the daughter wanders off to the middle class people rack that I was browsing. There was a full mirror pillar , as they usually have in dept stores so you can check yourself out while youre shopping..

She gets her face right up in the mirror, and starts making faces. then she kisses the mirror (but its really herself she wants to be kissing) after the pecks start...then she goes into a full out makeout session with the mirror. Im appalled! I look around for the mom and shes in her own world at the other side of the store.

Theres drool all over the mirror now. this 10 yr old is going at it.. she mustve learned this from jersey shore. Then she starts slurring at me. Now im scared at this point, my moms got the giggles, and I realizes that she has Down's Syndrome. now it allll makes sense.

So wheres the mom to tell her that the mirror is full of germs? Well She wasn't around, so my mom did it for her.

All in a days shopping...

ACM's recap

The 2010 Academy of Country music awards were last night at the MGM Grand in Las vegas *sigh* I'm happy to report that I THINK carrie underwood has finally gained some weight and is looking healthier. Take a look @ the pic and tell me what you think.

Besides Reba's horrific stand up comedy attempt with jabs at kirstie alley being fat (come on, low blow) and taylor swift being perfect (yeah we all know that) it was her nasty dresses that wanted me to kick her off stage.

My favorite part of the night was voting online for what song you wanted Brooks and Dunn to sing... I voted 10000+ times for My Maria, and sure enough it won. But microphone issues through the first 3 verses made it impossible for me to sing along with ronnie to "marrreeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiaaaaaaaa" damn.

twins?

Khloe Kardashian and Hilary Scott from Lady Antebellum.. both have the tranny look going. gotta love it

just found the BEST makeup blog

if you want tips on how to do make-up the right way...go to this blog. she has tutorial videos and blog posts that I have found to be super helpful!

http://makeupbytiffanyd.blogspot.com

This sums up my Thursday

What is it called when....

My co-worker brought to my attention the many uses of google. One of them is finding good popsicle stick jokes. Go to google.com and type in "what is it called when"

my favorites are "what is it called when a giraffe swallowed a toy jet" - A plane in the neck.
"what is it called when a seagull lands on a channel marker"- bouy meets gull.


im so easily entertained

Facebook, Facebook, Facebook

Oh FB. I hate you. I have had so many weak moments this week and wanted to log in, but I haven't . It's kinda nice not getting wrapped up in other people's drama. I really will survive not knowing who's watching Clifford with the wee one, who's has some Organic stash, and who loves life.  Although at the end of the day I will re-activate. The end.

The beginning of the end: Frontier Airlines buys Midwest

We can only hope that this isn't a Northwest -> Delta switch again. Because we all know how well that turned out. As far as the fresh baked cookies go? "some" of the flights will still provide cookies.

Its nothing but a constant letdown when it comes to airlines.

http://www.examiner.com/x-3584-Airline-Industry-Examiner~y2010m4d14-Midwest-Airlines-no-more-Republic-will-combine-brand-with-Frontier

scenario

Printer is broken, AGAIN. like every other day. Gorilla Glue is doing open heart surgery on printer. (see picture above) Someone is NOT HAPPY. hands up in the air, with her double head set on because gorilla glue turned on the vacuum cleaner!!!! im still trying to figure out why hes vacuuming a printer, but who cares. It was hysterical. Ive never seen/heard her so pissed in my entire life.

shwasted lady drives?

Caught her in the act swerving down University ave. ... WATCH OUT fellow madisonians

Busted: Sucks to be you

public service announcement

If you have a car, would you drive it knowing that both of the brake lights were out?
I followed a dickhead all the way down Willy St today.. no brake lights. Needless to say I almost rear ended him 10 times. Thank god I am facebookless- otherwise i would've been driving with my knees, on FB, and there would've been an accident .

DON'T DRIVE WITH BURNT OUT TAILLIGHTS. thank you

drunk lady speaks

rent check missing... landlord didnt recieve it, but it was cashed.

"when we find out who did it, the landlord will persecute 'em. "

hmmm I think prosecute might be the right word?

you know you need new shoes when...

I was minding my own business today, wearing my favorite pair of flats... old, full of holes, smelly beat up flats. That I will not throw away...

my co-worker came up to me and said "whats that Smell?!?! IS SOMETHING BURNING? Is it natural gas??! or LIGHTER FLUID?"


yikes. I need new shoes.

Can you tell Princess P has been on this computer?

spotted: On computers back @ call center station... princess' most used desktop is now calling her out for her misuse of company property....

Need a place to live fast? Ask me for help!

I will help you find a place to live (apt, condo, house) if you find yourself in a less than pleasurable current living environment. I can call and set up showings, and come with you to them too if you need someone to harass the landlord.

Theres nothing I enjoy more than scouring craigslist for the perfect living space for my friends.

Ive seen the light

You know what... its been 16 hours since I've had Facebook. And it's ok. My phone hasn't been buzzing green... I have paid attention to the road, instead of swerving down Monona Dr just to read pointless status updates about what people ate for breakfast. Im kind of over it, facebook. You cause unnecessary drama and stalking. as in stalking, I mean those people who read your page, and never write and say hello on it. My husband is a repeat offender of this. For all you people out there who want to know what im doing, you can call me. or check me up on here. Im permanently done with FB.

Over and out,

Mlo

Update: FB withdrawl

Ok, it's 12:30 pm, and I can't tell you how many times I have tried without thinking to check my phone for status updates. It's like second nature. I'm hoping the week gets easier and that it will prove I can survive without FB, and the Earth with not stop moving, although I have my doubts bc FB is a pretty powerful drug.

This is going to cause mass panic, funny b/c I'm not that interesting, people just like to stalk

Hi Sara,


You have deactivated your Facebook account. You can reactivate your account at any time by logging into Facebook using your old login email and password. You will be able to use the site like you used to.

Thanks,

The Facebook Team

Found: on the back of a grocery list @ copps

"Tina Fey was on Regis & Kelly. She is going to be 40 next month. All the shows today had good reviews about Am_Idol. Ask me about what kind of trouble Barbara got into today with her mouth!"

Written in some old bags writing, kitty stationary...

Newsflash: Ruben Studdard smokes pot

Well ... maybe not the real Ruben. But his twin came into the Eagle yesterday, while we were watching the Masters. He proceeded to tell us about this great documentary he watched the previous night about a teacher in Atlanta who has tarets and no one will hire him. well, me being the documentary guru, I asked him a million questions: What channel ? whats the title? Whats the plot? What did you feel when you watched it? His response...

"to be honest, I smoked so much pot I dont remember"

minutes later, one of the regulars and him were exchanging phone numbers to hook up for a smoke session... hmm .

theres nothing better than family

Yesterday after bloody marys I went to my parents house to do laundry and scam free dinner out of my dad. My mom got home from Iowa, after fighting with my sassy grandpa for a couple days... and we went and got retail therapy @ kohls... (we had coupons, so we had an excuse) 300 bucks later, we left and got harassed by a drunk ghetto man in the parking lot.

Had dinner (lasagna and asparagus) while my dad bugged my brother about cutting his hair so he doesnt have hair in his eyes for about ten minutes.... then he went for seconds with the asparagus, and just stuck his hand in the steamer - just to piss off my mom. Of course I had to do it too, just to put her over the edge.

Then fought with my dad about who would win the masters... then washed the dogs in the kitchen sink.. when my big butt dog wont even fit. The end result? Keila soaking wet running around the kitchen counter trying to make an escape, my mom holding Baby in a hot towel like shes a baby jesus, and me with the spray hose getting water on the ceiling, walls, and floor... My dad freaking out that i "ruined" his kitchen. Keila almost made an escape by jumping off the counter but i caught her in the act.

Just another Sunday... cant wait for this weekend when Judy and I tackle Chicago (aka Schaumburg) on the hunt for some perfect London outfits. Followed by crab and wine.

dirty joke heard @ the bar

from the drooley, parkinsons infested old man who somehow still has a drivers license and I dont know how..


" My wife is really interested in butt sex. She's interested in everything but sex."


ahhhhhh Kenny. what a knee slapper.

goodbye facebook

Ok, Its 1029 pm on Sunday night. My facebook is deactivated, along with my facebook app getting deleted on my blackberry... I cant even imagine the anxiety that will ensue when I cant cook in my cafe all week. This is torture.

Triple Charge, Lil Jon quizzed too

another night in paradise

Don't try to Fool Eugene... started doing "jaywalking" at Buffalo Wild Wings last night. Pretty entertaining.

Facebook downtime starting Sunday 4-11-10 @ 1159pm

Starting Sunday night, Ms. Sara and I will be deleting our Facebook pages as an experiment to see if we can survive. You know we are captain blackberry's ... always checking our pages, clucking about peoples status updates , etc.

Were going to re-activate on Friday night. Do you all think we can make it 5 days? Only time will tell. We will be blogging daily about our withdrawls and emotions to keep you in the loop.
And sorry to those facebook stalkers who can't paw through our pages for 5 days. Hope you survive.

I just fell in love

Instead of sitting on the BOP website, drooling over dresses I CANNOT afford... I've stumbled upon dresses that I can afford, and theyre super cute. watch me expand my dress collection even more! I will need to construct another closet

www.lulus.com

I feel bad for my neighbors

Because after a couple glasses of wine I go to youtube and search "beatles karaoke" ...and belt out my favorite beatles songs until 1am.

Food for Thought...

What is a person who hails from Ghana called? My brother and I had a serious discussion about this the other day. Are they called...

Ghan-anians?
Ghan-aaaaaaaaaaaaans.
Ghan-an-ites?

im puzzled. and would appreciate some direction. But it is tons of fun to say ghanaaaaaaaaanians and see how long you can get the "a" to last for. See how I occupy my time?

Wow, KFC you have hit an all-time low!

No wonder America gets a bad rap.

The bun-free sandwich has two slices of bacon, two slices of melted cheese and "Colonel's Sauce" - in between two chicken filets,"only" 540 calories and 32 fat grams or grab the "slimmer" grilled version 460 calories and 23 fat grams. Comes to stores April 12th, 2010. Who's going to be first in line???

Hey! Spirit Airlines! suck a big one!

You have committed the ultimate sin: charging people for having a carry-on. We, as travelers, just cannot win. You're charging us for checked bags, usually 20-30 dollars one way. And now Spirit Airlines has announced it will be charging people $45 per bag ($30 in advance if you pay online) per checked bag. Purses, laptop bags, or anything that can fit under the seat in front of you doesn't count.

I have some ways you can charge people:

People with babies should be charged more. Just because you know the kid will cry the entire way there and in turn, it will make the flight less enjoyable.

People with bad cologne, or people so big their butts invade your seat and your personal space. once again, makes the flight suck

Get rid of sodas on the flight. People can buy drinks before they board for $7 a pop at the gift shops.

But please god, quit charging for bags. Whats next? charging to use the restrooms? like you have to stick a dollar bill in the door for it to open? I'm sticking with Southwest.

UPDATE:::::: Just found this link! they will start charging to use the bathroom!!! I CALLEDIT!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/04/07/ryanair.lavatory.fee/index.html?hpt=T2

doodle shout out/black horse and a cherry tree

after 2 pitchers of sangria, and 3 pitchers of beer... the camera work is a BIT shaky.

things found in the hospital stairwell..

this was all found on 2 flights of stairs... the housekeeping staff must have a furlough week. WTF? gross!

dress code violation!!!!

DEB called, they want their skirt back. hello britney!

spotted on the UW campus

some hooligans spray painted the words "DAT SHIT" under this sign.

Im determined to get a pic after work today... HILARIOUS.

Dear Crazytown

You should be ashamed of yourself. Your house is no longer a home when your husband lives in a prison. Do us all a favor and admit yourself to Mendota. Or move far far away ....

from,

your loving family.

Fashion Don't: Man Capri's

Driving down University today, I almost caused a 5 car pile up. I couldn't believe it. This guy biking wearing Man Capri's and he wasn't joking.

UW must be a horrible place to work

spotted on the bulletin board by the elevators... people post up dogs/cats for sale... and apartments to sublease. none of them have been touched, no numbers ripped off, except for this one.

"ARE YOU DEPRESSED?"

It speaks for itself. and made me laugh. we've got a lot of angry people working here. So don't cross your nurses. They may be depressed and inject the wrong stuff into your IV. and then you know what happens next.

The supposed "diabetic"/drunk lady's lunch.

Dear Nerd's Jelly Beans where are you????

I can't find them anywhere!

Trying something new...

Thanks John Freida for making me look like Cousin It. This is supposed to "awaken" your roots, give you body, and look like a freakin movie star. Well guess what, it didnt. it does clean your hair in a pinch, if youre broke like me and its not quite payday.

Im done being cheap. no more generic shampoo. i miss my Biolage.

an open letter to moms

I don't know how to say this nicely. I guess there really is no nice way to say it, so here goes.
Do you really need to breastfeed in public? REALLY? do you? You can't go in the bathroom and do it? or outside, if its nice out?

I was out to lunch this weekend with my family, and cousins who I havent seen in years. But my aunt and I couldn't even eat, because we were so distracted and disgusted by the lady at the table right next to us, breastfeeding her kid... who first off looked too old to be doing it in the first place. No blanket to cover up her lady bits... just ALL out there. And even worse, her teenage son was right across the table from her witnessing it all.

Her other 300000 kids were running around throwing wooden blocks and screaming at the top of their lungs while she shoved her face with scone and breastfed her 4 year old (ok that was an exaggeration)

please moms. I understand you think you're baby comes before anything or anyone in the world. But we don't think your baby is that charming, or that cute. So put your rack away, and go breastfeed out of the public eye. Because my lunch was cold and ruined thanks to you.

extensions? Im heart broken!!!!!

Lauren Conrad recently revealed that her gorgeous, wavy blonde hair is indeed extensions. Im SO depressed. Every time I go visit Melissa and get my haircut, I tell her "dont cut too much, I need to look like LC. " Well damn you LC, your hair is fake, and mine is real. Im baffled, because her hair looks genuine. genuinely FAKE that is. Im going to go pout now.






http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2010/04/05/lauren-conrad-on-her-imperfections-best-friends-and-extensions/

Quote of the day... drunk lady strikes again.

Blaze: *slurring away at her desk then blurts out* "YEAH IM CATHOLIC!"
sara and I " whatever blaze. what did you give up for Lent then?"
Blaze: "FISH."


hmmmm... ponder that one my friends.

there's something about a good BCBG dress

makes me weak at the knees
http://www.bcbg.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2840697

Full body scans @ the airport? why not

http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/04/01/airport.body.scanners/index.html

When it comes to flying, I think I've experienced every possible dilemma imaginable, besides crashing of course because then I wouldn't be here blogging.

I love the idea of full body scans. If it makes the lines shorter, and improves safety of the passengers, why not? And you know, who cares if the scans show your hoo haa. We were all born the same way, head first and naked. So what.

I propose we get multiple body scanners at every airport... so there will be no more underwear bomber. And then TSA can back off of me, because they think im a terrorist!

Movie Review: Twilight Saga: New Moon

Im still wondering whether this movie should've been called "new moon" or... maybe Hot tan men with shirts off?

Im total Team Edward... hes gorgeous and mysterious. But Jacob gave him a run for his money in this second installment of the Twilight movies. New Moon was good for being the "second" movie.. with no real beginning or end, it was full of drama, and love, and good fighting scenes with hot giant wolves and vampires. Bella's screaming nightmares are a bit over the top. and shes in desperate need of a tan.

I havent read the books, nor am I a twilight freak. I still much prefer Harry Potter.

The last 5 seconds of this movie will leave you a bit confused and speechless... and wanting more

the next twilight movie, "eclipse" will be out June 30th.

hurry up and wait

On tuesday, I recieved another letter from the USCIS (united states citizenship and immigration services). It was just to inform me that they had recieved my second application for Dan to come here; the first one being the permanent visa, or "green card" and the most recent one is a temporary visa while the permanent one processes ( 2-5 years) This whole visa process has become the ultimate stressor in my life. One typo, or if the pen ink is the wrong color, and they reject your app and you start at square one.

I need my husband here. It's not even a want issue anymore. Of course I want him here. But going to bed alone and waking up alone is painful. Especially when I'm married and people still assume I'm single. Because he's not here. And theres nothing either one of us can do about it, and thats the frustrating part. If there was ANYTHING I could do to make this process speed up, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'd do it right now. But its scary to think my relationship with him, and our future, is all in the hands of the government.
Thats scary.
So now I hurry up and wait. I should recieve a letter within 5-6 months to let me know if the temporary visa was approved. Then he does an interview and a medical. Then if he passes that, he goes onto the world with the magical stamps that let him come here and STAY.

honestly, if you ask me anytime of day what my mind is on, it will be on Dan. I cant concentrate on work, current events, or drama in other peoples lives. I just dont have energy. I check my phone constantly to see if he messaged me. hows his day going? is he having a good day at work? then I convince him to go to the pub because he deserves a beer. But nothing is like having him here, in the same country code as me.

Sooooo to make a long story short. All of you readers out there who have a significant other within your reach- tell them you love them. give them too many hugs. too many kisses. Because If I had that chance I would do it right now.

my must haves for the Spring/Summer

http://www.radley.co.uk/

Ive been in love with Radley bags since my mother-in-law bought me a wallet last year when I went to visit. The leather is like butter, and they're worth the extra money, because they're great quality and they last you a while... now I need to go to Ho-Chunk to win a small fortune to afford these 3 bags. (:

youre simply glowing darling.

hamel: Did you do something different today? you're glowing, you look nice!
me: No, I actually showered this morning.

I secretly love...

Taking a huge stack of papers needing to be faxed over to the fax machine. Do them one by one really slow.. so people start forming a line.

Then I get my trusty fax stamp out and put the faxes on top of the metal label maker.

I stamp each one, super hard, and slam the stamp down on the label maker, one by one. causing everyone to look up from their computers because the noise is obnoxious.

I try to act like I work in customs at the airport. The bastards on their high horses with their magical entrance stamps. They stamp those passports sooooo loud, because they CAN.

So I run the customs in the office. I say who gets in and who stays out, biotch.