I got behind two tortoises today in the salad bar line. Each were total granolas, with Tom's Shoes and all. Of course, both were making granddaddy salads, complete with spinach AND romaine...
granola 1 and granola 2 both spent about 3 minutes chatting and inspecting EVERY leaf of lettuce that went into their salad container. i swear they whipped out litmus paper and were testing each ones ph's. Thats how long it took. each had a lettuce tong in hand, holding the lettuce up to the light, deciding whether it made the cut to go into their flax seed filled bellies.
they bolted past the mystery meats and cheeses (typical.) and then halted when they got to the tofu chunks. then 3 more minutes past. I was tapping my feet, sighing loudly... you know all those "hurry the fuck up" non verbal cues. But to no avail, the sloths kept slothin'.
you shouldve seen how many garbanzo beans and sunflower seeds were piled atop that tofu loaded hot mess.
they need to get out of the salad bar express line and go get lip waxes. End of story.
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