are you comfortable being miserable?

I feel like there's no way to contact you anymore, so I will speak out on the one place you may see this.

I never in my life thought I would be saying that I am disappointed in you. I've grown up, living my whole life looking up to you. You've been my best friend, and always given me real advice, even when you knew it would hurt. So why have you changed? Why do I feel like giving up on you? I know you're going through a hard time...and in times of need I know my family will always be there for me. So why do I feel like you're shutting me out? Shutting us all out? Do you know how bad that makes us feel? Do you know that mom cries because shes so worried and pissed at you? You dont see the effect you're having on us, because you constantly blow us off.

But the reason you blow us off is digusting. For her. You do it all to try and please someone who simply cannot be pleased. Any other time in your life, you wouldn't stand to be treated the way you are now. Your home is a jail cell. You get punished for talking to me. But why pick the nazi over your family? Where are you going to go if you ever get fed up? Are you going to then be our friend again?

Your family will always be here for you. we're your blood, we're your support system. Dont push away the positive light in your life. Quit being miserable. Everyone but you sees it. You deserve better. you NEED better. Quit walking on eggshells, waiting for the next bomb to explode. it will get worse before it gets better.

I love you. so quit pushing me away.